grateful for great friends

Yes, mom, I know I missed yesterday. I was very busy doing nothing and suddenly the day got away from me and it was 8pm and I hadn’t started doing any of my homework. You win some, you lose some.

Anyway. Once upon a time I had a friend who really wasn’t good for me. We had been friends for a very long time, and I thought that it was my job to maintain our friendship. Whenever anything happened between us, I took full responsibility for the issue and worked and worked to make things better. We’ll call her Shelby.

When I got to college, I was used to being the person in the friendship that worked. The first few friends I made were not true friends. I was used to Shelby, and, as is often the case when you’re thrown into a completely brand new environment, I migrated towards things that felt normal. I would find myself every time asking them to hang out, asking them how their exam went, asking them if anything ever came out of that boy they made out with at that party two weeks ago. And, while I was managing my new “college” friends, I was also the one to text Shelby at least once a week, begging her to keep me updated on her life.

It feels odd to admit this, but it wasn’t until I joined a sorority that I realized how messed up these relationships were. I am not saying that everyone should join a sorority and I think that it’s a super duper messed up system and I hate very many parts about it. But it was how I found (one of) my niche(s) in a large school.

Now I realize that it wasn’t Shelby’s fault or the fault of the “friends” that I made right when I got to Michigan. It was mine. I have the power to find people I love and I have the power to know whether or not I’m happy.

I have made incredible friends here in Florence. Three of us went and got incredible sandwiches tonight together and talked for a little bit about just how incredible we all are. It was pretty incredible.

All incredulousness aside, I would not have these friends if I had settled. I didn’t meet either of the two girls that I was with until around 3 weeks into the program, and they’re two people that get me just as well as my amazing friends from school get me. They have made my experience one hundred times better than it would have been, and for that I’m choosing to not only thank them, but also myself for being patient and finding the people out there that make me feel great.

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6 thoughts on “grateful for great friends

  1. This reminds me of a song we sang in Girl Scouts a hundred years ago: Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other’s gold. So glad you found your squad!

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  2. I really love your lines, “Now I realize that it wasn’t Shelby’s fault or the fault of the “friends” that I made right when I got to Michigan. It was mine. I have the power to find people I love and I have the power to know whether or not I’m happy.” I am so glad that you realized that true happiness comes from you. Keep this in mind when you start dating 🙂

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  3. Love these reflections. I hope I continue to make you feel good: I think you’re great. What amazing insights you are gaining during these weeks away from the familiar! Sending ❤️ and hugs.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

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  4. Oh my. You could have written this about me! I had that good friend in high school and I did all the work. I also was the one to maintain that relationship when we started at different colleges. I was also the one to realized that it didn’t have to be this way. Once you have that realization, you will find those true friends that last forever. The ones that you can talk to once every three months and it’s like you pick up where you left off or the friends you talk to everyday because why wouldn’t you? 🙂 It’s a hard lesson to learn but once you do you will forever be a stronger person. Enjoy those new, real friends!

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